Special kind of somethin'..

the lyrics is meaningful.

Ramadhan and Lebaran...

...so here I am in United States,celebrating Ramadhan for almost a month now and Lebaran (Eidulfitri) soon. Yea, this is my 1st time being alone here.Noone wimme and it seems like a very boring environment to celebrate by myself.*sigh* But, this will be something normal for me next time I guess.Alhamdulillah,my fasting month is smooth so far.Its just, I miss the atmosphere where people are selling kuih/juadah from 1-7pm every single day for a month.Besides,the moment of walking through Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman during fasting month when people are busy looking for stuffs for raya...is the besttttt momentttttt.... the atmosphere, the people... its just... urghhhh... i like it!!!! ( I miss that moment already)

I've been through some breakdown lately.You know, the feeling of being lonely especially without my beloved mother and family, and also friends.The moment of breaking fast in KL is just soooooo cooollll...no matter where the location is... but its all still remain in my head.. urghhhh....Guys, I miss all of u so muchhhhh.... all those kuih keeps banging in my head....

Whatever it is,...I can't wait for lebaran this year...I wonder how it is like to be here and celebrate Lebaran with all new people... It must be so exciting!!!!! I hope it will be the most memorable Lebaran ever... Insyallah. I will always pray for the best...


p/s : to all Muslims all over the world,if you happen to read this,Happy Lebaran
and Maaf Zahir Batin...

Over it. . .

I'm over your lies,
and I'm over your games.
I'm over you asking me,
when you know I'm not okay.
You call me at night,
and I pick up the phone.
And though you've been telling me,
I know you're not alone.
oh..

Wanting you,
to be wanting me.
No that ain't no way to be.
How I feel, read my lips,
because I'm so over..
Moving on, it's my time,
you never were a friend of mine.
Hurt at first, a little bit,
but now I'm so over.
I'm so over it..

I'm over your hands,
and I'm over your mouth.
Trying to drag me down,
and fill me with self-doubt.
oh..

Don't call,
don't come by,
ain't no use,
don't ask me why,
you'll never change,
there'll be no more crying in the rain.

(..fully dedicated to someone..)

Goodbye to you. . .

Of all the things I believed in
I just want to get it over with
tears from behind my eyes
but I do not cry
Counting the days passed me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend and I say

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I used to get lost in your eyes
And it seems like I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light but it's not right

Goodbye to you

The story ends. . .

. . .So,the story is finally over.Phew~~ I was strugglin dealin with it for quite long. Why should I drag myself into that kinda life which is full of sorrow,denial,upset,doubts and nothin bigger than HURT. Well,...I shouldn't expect life will be roses all the time.Today, I get hurt, tomorrow I'll be happy..the next day,maybe someone else is betrayin me..next month I might meet a new person and so on.I guess,..that is the simple pattern of life which is too complicated to understand. As for me, a very young girl with visions in life will always be strong and believe in myself. Noone else can help me but only ME. I just feel like running away from all the pain and misery. But, if I avoid or try to run away, I will never learn anythin at all. I would never know how to handle myself when I get hurt, upset, angry or lost. I used to just run away from problems, and yes, it doesn't work! It doesn't help me to be a better person. I used to think it was such a way to get rid off the pain. Nope, I was totally wrong. Noone tell me,noone guide me,..but I realize that myself... HOW? Its all about the experiences and wise thinkin. . .

Its not even a year I'm here in United States. I can't believe that I've dealin with too much DRAMA by the people around me.I know, whether I like it or not, I just had to face and deal with it.Too bad,those people might think that I would fail and torn apart,..but I am standin still... movin on to the next chapter. . . They're tryin too hard to make me fall and keep on creating damages. They might never realize, the damages that I've gotten so far,turned out to be the best tools ever to be a better person. I have seen so much DRAMA from the people that I care and trust. Why do they did that?. . . I have no perfect answers for all the questions but what I can clearly see now is : MY PASSION in life ; myself & my visions. I wonder how people can just turned out to be an individual who is totally different after awhile... or was it me who never acknowledge or wise enough to know them? I take it as somethin positive,...cuz I'm glad am still standin tough... never changed to be less than what I am, but a better person... I gained so much lately. . . Nothin to be regret about, nothin to be worry about... nothin to be cry for anymore. . . am grateful cuz God will always be with me. . . Thank U God, you heard me!!! I know, U will always give me the best. . .

This is one of the pieces that am writing to fill up my blogs and washin away my pain. . . Its all good. . . I felt so much better now. . . I might take years to get over it... It doesn't mean, am shuttin down myself for anyone who will appreciate me more than I do for myself. . someone out there is waitin for me to love me and I will never neglect him, as I have so much love to give. . . God, he deserves my pure love, give him to me when U believe it is time. . . meanwhile, I know U won't give up givin me challenges...

. . .life is like a painting. Its to vague to see the messages and the motive. I'm movin on. . . to live life, lead life better..everyday. Thank you so much to all of you who had paid me PAIN,BETRAYAL,LIES and BULLSHITS. Its your lost, and I gained too much. . . Thank you, thank you and thank you. . . I will never hate you guys,but truly appreciate what you have done to my life so far. The damages was great but not that faboulous. Try harder. . .


p/s : ..someone looked at me and says,"You are too beautiful to get hurt".
I replied, "I am too hurt to be beautiful...".

The orientation was sucha crazy one!!!!

Yesterday was the International Students Orientation for Fall 2007.There were at least 70 new international students from all over the world. The orientation starts at 1-5.30pm. I was up as early as 8am as all the ambassador should be there for the preparation @ 10am. So, I was there since 10am till at least 8pm. We also had a WELCOME PARTY for all of them soon as we finished with the orientation. There were tons of foods, soft drinks,..cookies,fruits and also... people... hahaha.. I had really a tremendous moment yesterday. Almost everyone play the pool. I played tons of frames with different people. It was really fun too. I get to know the way they play and their skills.They were all good! GOSH! I am so weakkkk!!! hahaha.. Overall, yesterday was really good although I felt so tired.Really exhausted actually.But,on top of everythin else, being an ambassador is making me opening up myself for more possibilities that I would see.Thank God for the opportunity.I'll use this as my stepping stone to move forward and achieve bigger agenda in the future. ROCK!!!!

..proudly being an ambassador Fall 2007

Woohoo~ Finally.The time has come! We have started the journey of being an ambassador.Well, it is so much fun.Can't believe I enjoy my time so much with them. This year,there are approximately 70 new international students from all over the world ; Korea,Japan,Denmark,China,Canada,London,Indonesia,Malaysia,and Germany. I noticed they're so excited to be in Towson although some of them are pretty shy,timid and..kinda lost I guess.What dya expect? Some of them are their first time being in America.They have no clue how life would be here.. haha.. so, tonight,..we had our social party with all the ambassadors and RA (resident assistant). There were at least 40 people came up tonight.WOW! It was really packed, in the room.But, I guess that was really gooooooodddd. I had fun tonight,we played games..we had pizza..coke and talked to each other.. they're really nice kids.. hahahha... so, the orientation will be done by end of the week before the school start next week.I will be so busy and out of breath. hahaha.. i look forward for all these activities.. go go go ANN!!!!

Inner Harbour,downtown Baltimore.

Its been almost a week I just stay in at home. GOSH! I guess, its pretty boring.I've been watching The Hills on youtube almost everyday.So, I've decided to go out and walk for a little bit. Justin never been to Inner Harbour before.So,I asked him if he wanna have a look. Yea..so we went there on Tuesday.Guess it was so cool to go there again.I dont know why, but I feel so good to be there.Its just so peaceful. I love it! Yay! We were there for almost 5 hours.We got there with bus and that was the first time I took a bus to go somewhere around here.Haha.. but I guess, I learnt a lot throughout my journey on that day.I get to see how people behave around me.Its just fun. In fact, we passed by those places that I've never seen before.I haven't been to the other side of the town since I got here. I guess, its such a good opportunity to look around and acknowledge those places. Overall, I had fun although it was lil bit warmer than I thought.Heehe... lav it!

Crazynez ; 8 hours @ Starbucks

...I have no idea if there's anyone ever spend their day sitting and talkin and gossiping at one particular place for more than 4 hours. Yes! That was what happened between me and my best gf, Asa last Saturday. We were at Starbucks for almost 8 hours plus. Isn't that crazy? YES IT WAS! We jz didn't notice that we were there for 8 hours and.. yes.. it was just.. so crazy... luckily she had to leave early as she had to attend a farewell party. I guess we won't leave if we both doesnt have anythin to do later at night. GOSH! I never spent that long hours sittin,talkin and gossiping at particular spot. Starbucks owner must be proud to have sucha loyal customers like me and Asa. hahahha... although I have no prove to show that we were there for 8 hours, but I guess some couple pix might help.. hahaha... thanks so much girl. WE BOTH ROCK STARBUCKS ON SATURDAY!!! Woohoo~~~~

..the voice of the ocean always makes me calm..

I had a chance to go to one of the beaches in my home country last couple days.I just enjoy so much being at the beach and relax my mind from all the things. I didnt get a chance to go to any beach yet in states.But, I definitely goin to one someday.. it gives me so much calm..and peace..

Meetin' up hommies..

Gosh! Its been so long since the last time I met them. I miss them so much.Its great to come and visit the college again.I miss the places where I used to hang out and do my assignments.But, the most kewl things was meetin up most of my hommies..woohoo~. I had a great time with them talkin and chillin out.. lotsa gossips... huhuhu..cant believe there were so many stories that I didnt know...heheh... Am gonna miss u guys so much!!!! Lov yah!

Tiramitsu and Mango Fadango..

I love these shits!!!!!! I was at my fave cafe, DOME. Its been awhile since the last time I had my tiramitsu cake and hang out at this cafe.. heheh... Lav it. Treated by my best friend, Firdy. Hahaha thnx dude!!!

Washington DC in KL???

Today,I went to Putrajaya,a town which is filled with lotsa great architecture building.I am proud to see the city is almost full with great building.The idea of this city was by the previous Malaysia's Prime Minister,Tun Mahathir Mohamad.Since I have been to Washington DC before,..there were things that I can relate to Putrajaya as well. The way the building are scattered and the environment.. gosh, reminds me of Washington DC. Also,Putrajaya has its own Monument..woohoo~ I went around and took pictures.I had a great time there today.I know am gonna miss this place.I bet, within 2 years,there will be more building. Can't wait to see... Putrajaya,..am gonna miss you... hahahaha...

Pool night. .

..We went out last night to play pool.It was really fun and happening.I had da most tremendous moment last night.. GOSH! Can't believe it..me and most of my high school friends bumped into each other in the early evening so we set up a plan to play pool at night.I miss them so much and it felt so good to see them again. While chillin out,all of our good memories at school were splash out.We ended up laughing out loud as hell... LOL... I really had a great time and I just felt so touched to see all of them again... Am gonna miss them so much as it will be awhile until I can see them again... Lov you guys so much ; Fyruz,Yaz,Nick,Idzham and Faliq.

I miss her

..i started to miss this girl... *sob sob*.. she's my best friend back in Towson,who listens to all my problems.. she was there for me no matter what... now she's no longer in Towson as she had to move to Texas.. well girl,..I will always pray for your success and happiness... we can always talk thru phones and email. Nothing can stop our friendship. I PROMISED YOU! I miss you a lot, girl... wished I could spend my summer with you somewhere..just me and you...it would be so cool!!!! I love you,Asa...

Shayna ~successful Malaysian singer in NYC

..I had a chance to meet her in person, Shayna Zaid...Who was borned in Malaysia, but migrated to Berkeley and NYC to pursue her dream.She finally made it through.Am so proud of her.Get to know her through MYSPACE.COM and fortunately,one of my good friends know her in person.So, the night was full of surprises when she had a performance @ one of the coolest bar in town,WINE ROOM.. I went there to see her last performance before she goes back to NEW YORK.. U rawk SHAYNA... see ya in NYC..

An evenin' with Nadia

..we went out yesterday to KLCC.Woohoo~ We had fun talkin.. yea, girls-talk. We were supposed to watch movies but too bad, the cinema was full of people on Saturday..then we canceled our plan and we were just chillin out at Starbucks.. it was fun. Other than that, we took so many pix around KLCC.. it was great... gosh, we are just vain.. looks like we cant get enuff of KLCC.. hahaha...

Its been awhile...

..its been awhile since the last time I went back to my dad's hometown which is 3 hours drive from my place.So,I spent 3 days 2 nights recently @ my hometown.. I felt good to be back and experience all the peace and calm. The quietness was gr8..u know, being away from town for a while might be cool.. I enjoyed my time throughout my stay..