. . .So,the story is finally over.Phew~~ I was strugglin dealin with it for quite long. Why should I drag myself into that kinda life which is full of sorrow,denial,upset,doubts and nothin bigger than HURT. Well,...I shouldn't expect life will be roses all the time.Today, I get hurt, tomorrow I'll be happy..the next day,maybe someone else is betrayin me..next month I might meet a new person and so on.I guess,..that is the simple pattern of life which is too complicated to understand. As for me, a very young girl with visions in life will always be strong and believe in myself. Noone else can help me but only ME. I just feel like running away from all the pain and misery. But, if I avoid or try to run away, I will never learn anythin at all. I would never know how to handle myself when I get hurt, upset, angry or lost. I used to just run away from problems, and yes, it doesn't work! It doesn't help me to be a better person. I used to think it was such a way to get rid off the pain. Nope, I was totally wrong. Noone tell me,noone guide me,..but I realize that myself... HOW? Its all about the experiences and wise thinkin. . .
Its not even a year I'm here in United States. I can't believe that I've dealin with too much DRAMA by the people around me.I know, whether I like it or not, I just had to face and deal with it.Too bad,those people might think that I would fail and torn apart,..but I am standin still... movin on to the next chapter. . . They're tryin too hard to make me fall and keep on creating damages. They might never realize, the damages that I've gotten so far,turned out to be the best tools ever to be a better person. I have seen so much DRAMA from the people that I care and trust. Why do they did that?. . . I have no perfect answers for all the questions but what I can clearly see now is : MY PASSION in life ; myself & my visions. I wonder how people can just turned out to be an individual who is totally different after awhile... or was it me who never acknowledge or wise enough to know them? I take it as somethin positive,...cuz I'm glad am still standin tough... never changed to be less than what I am, but a better person... I gained so much lately. . . Nothin to be regret about, nothin to be worry about... nothin to be cry for anymore. . . am grateful cuz God will always be with me. . . Thank U God, you heard me!!! I know, U will always give me the best. . .
This is one of the pieces that am writing to fill up my blogs and washin away my pain. . . Its all good. . . I felt so much better now. . . I might take years to get over it... It doesn't mean, am shuttin down myself for anyone who will appreciate me more than I do for myself. . someone out there is waitin for me to love me and I will never neglect him, as I have so much love to give. . . God, he deserves my pure love, give him to me when U believe it is time. . . meanwhile, I know U won't give up givin me challenges...
. . .life is like a painting. Its to vague to see the messages and the motive. I'm movin on. . . to live life, lead life better..everyday. Thank you so much to all of you who had paid me PAIN,BETRAYAL,LIES and BULLSHITS. Its your lost, and I gained too much. . . Thank you, thank you and thank you. . . I will never hate you guys,but truly appreciate what you have done to my life so far. The damages was great but not that faboulous. Try harder. . .
p/s : ..someone looked at me and says,"You are too beautiful to get hurt".
I replied, "I am too hurt to be beautiful...".
